The Post-Exertional Crash That Steals Your Life: What Your Body Is Really Telling You
You went grocery shopping on Monday.
Just grocery shopping. Nothing extreme. You didn't run a marathon. You didn't move furniture. You bought milk and eggs and came home.
By Wednesday morning, you couldn't get out of bed.
Your limbs felt like lead. Your brain was complete fog. Even your skin hurt. And you stayed in that crashed state for three more days, wondering what the hell was wrong with you.
Sound familiar?
This is post-exertional malaise. And if you're experiencing it, you need to understand what's happening in your body—and why everyone's advice is making it worse.
The Crash No One Believes
Here's what makes post-exertional crashes so isolating:
No one can see them. They don't show up on tests. And they happen on a delay, so even YOU can't figure out what triggered them.
You try to explain it to your doctor: "I did something totally normal and then crashed for a week."
They look at you like you're exaggerating. "Maybe you're depressed?" "Have you tried exercising more?" "It's probably just stress."
Your family doesn't get it either. They see you resting and think you're fine. They don't see the internal negotiation it took you to shower. The way simple conversations drain you completely. How you're spending every ounce of energy trying to look normal on the outside while collapsing on the inside.
You're not making this up. And you're not alone.
What Post-Exertional Malaise Actually Is
Post-exertional malaise (PEM) is your body's delayed response to physical, mental, or emotional exertion.
Here's how it works:
During the activity:
Your nervous system is running on stress hormones (cortisol, adrenaline)
These hormones give you artificial energy to keep going
You feel okay—maybe even good—because you're running on adrenaline
Your body is diverting resources away from rest, digestion, and repair to fuel the activity
12-72 hours later:
The stress hormones drop
Your body tries to shift into rest mode to recover
But your system is so depleted it doesn't gently shift—it crashes
All the inflammation and cellular damage that got ignored during the push comes flooding in
Your body forces a complete shutdown to prevent further damage
This is why you can't predict your crashes. They're not happening during the activity. They're happening days later.
The Boom-Bust Cycle That's Stealing Your Life
If you're experiencing PEM, you're probably stuck in what I call the Boom-Bust Cycle:
Boom (The Good Day):
You wake up feeling slightly better. Finally. A window of energy.
So you try to catch up on everything you couldn't do while you were crashed. Laundry. Emails. Errands. All the things.
You push through because you don't know when you'll feel this good again.
Bust (The Crash):
Two days later, you're destroyed. Completely non-functional. Your body is demanding repayment for the energy you borrowed.
You're in bed for days. Guilt sets in. Frustration builds. You feel like a failure.
Recovery:
You slowly start feeling better. You're terrified of crashing again. But you also have a week's worth of responsibilities piling up.
So you wait until you have a good day... and the cycle repeats.
Does this sound painfully familiar?
Why "Just Rest More" Doesn't Work
Everyone tells you to rest more. Self-care. Take a bath. Get more sleep.
But here's what they don't understand:
You ARE resting. And it's not helping.
Because the problem isn't that you're not resting enough. The problem is that your nervous system can't shift into restorative rest mode anymore.
You lie down. But your nervous system stays on high alert. Your muscles stay tense. Your brain keeps spinning. You're resting on the outside, but your body is still in protection mode on the inside.
So you rest and rest and rest... and never actually restore.
This is why post-exertional crashes are so devastating. Regular rest doesn't fix them. In fact, sometimes rest makes you feel worse because you're finally feeling the true cost of the activity.
What Your Crashes Are Trying to Tell You
I know this is scary. I know it feels like your body has betrayed you.
But here's what I need you to understand:
Your body isn't working against you. It's protecting you.
Every crash is your body saying: "That was too much for my current capacity. I'm forcing you to stop before you damage yourself permanently."
It's not punishment. It's information.
Your crashes are telling you:
Your nervous system is running on empty
Your energy envelope is much smaller than you think
You need to learn to pace within your limits, not push past them
Healing requires a completely different approach than what you've been trying
The Truth No One Tells You
Here's what the people telling you to "just push through" don't understand:
Pushing through post-exertional malaise makes it worse.
Every time you crash and then push through the next good day, you're training your nervous system that it's never safe to rest. You're making your energy envelope smaller. You're digging yourself deeper into the boom-bust cycle.
The only way out is to stop the cycle. And that requires learning to pace.
What Actually Helps
If you're stuck in the post-exertional crash cycle, here's what you need to know:
1. You need to find your baseline
Your baseline is the amount of activity you can do WITHOUT triggering a crash. Not what you think you should be able to do. What you can ACTUALLY do right now.
For many women, this is way less than they want to admit. And that's okay. You're not finding your forever baseline. You're finding your starting point.
2. You need to stay within your envelope
Once you know your baseline, you practice staying within it. Every single day. Even on good days.
This feels impossible at first. The guilt is massive. But this is how you stop the crashes.
3. You need to expand slowly
Once you can consistently stay within your baseline without crashing, you can start expanding. Very slowly. By about 10% at a time.
This is not sexy. It's not dramatic. But it works.
4. You need support
You cannot think your way out of this. You cannot willpower your way through it. You need nervous system support to help your body learn that it's safe to have sustained energy again.
There Is a Way Forward
I know how scary it is to not trust your own body. To never know if today will be a good day or a crash day. To feel trapped in a boom-bust cycle that's stealing your life.
But I've watched hundreds of women break this pattern. And I believe you can too.
Your post-exertional crashes aren't a life sentence. They're your body begging you to change your approach.
And with the right support, you can teach your nervous system that it's safe to have consistent energy again.
Your Next Step
If you're ready to stop crashing and start healing, I invite you to join our free community.
Inside, you'll learn:
How to identify your true energy baseline
Pacing strategies that actually work
Nervous system tools to support healing
How to expand your capacity without triggering crashes
Join the Free Community
You don't have to live in the boom-bust cycle forever. There is a path forward.
And it starts with understanding what your body is trying to tell you.
About the Author
Dr. McKenzy is a doctor of chiropractic specializing in clinical nutrition, nervous system regulation, and trauma-informed healing for burned-out Christian women. After spending nearly a year bedbound at 27—battling anxiety, chronic gut issues, and unresolved trauma—she encountered Jesus in her darkest moment and discovered a path to true healing that transformed her life. Now she helps women just like her restore safety in their bodies, reconnect with Christ, and finally experience the sustainable healing they've been searching for.